The Moment

It's been a long time. Time pass really fast and i don't realise that i have been about 2 years didn't step in my blog. There is a lot of happened and changed on me of this two years. In the beginning i though that my lover has turned on me, and always hope so. Unfortunately she didn't, i think i know the reason. When i felt that she has turned on me is the trip to Hatyai, Thailand. I was glad that she coming with me and having a good time. I'm really appreciate that a lot, i always remember that moment of joy.

I changed my job and request by my territory manager to base at Kluang of Johore. I thought this is good chance to make our distance shorter because she was working in Singapore. I believe she was feel the same way too in the beginning. After few times we met each other, i was feeling she was a bit different in the way she talk and act. I started worried about our relationship will be end in anytime. Because of i love her so much and i can't help myself to stop miss her, even now.

She keep pushing me away and keep a distance away from me. I felt difficulty to fall in sleep at night in that time. Somehow, i still have to work for survival, I'm not a kid under protection of my parent anymore. When i get home everyday after work, i felt very tired, angry, lonely, depressed and empty. Maybe one of the reason is I'm alone here all the time. Time after time, i spoke to myself or laughing while driving some times. I talked to myself take am i insane or some kind of psycho. So i will shopping like a shopaholic when i got chance to meet my friends at KL.

Time passed really fast, it's Chinese New Year again. I visited her before i get back to my home town to meet my parent. We don't have much conversation, just watch Singapore TV programme and have a little chit chat. She invited me to stay for lunch but i rejected, i just felt that uncomfortable to stay any longer. I got nothing to do after i get home, what a boring Chinese New Year.

Economy crisis impact the whole world. There were many big organization and factory closing down or outsourcing. More than hundred million people lost their job in the world of year 2009. My company also spreading the bad news and rumor. I started panic and thinking to change job. However, i still stay with my company. I had no idea how is my future or career. What i think it's totally depend on the situation, worried is useless.

My uncle called me last month about my father was in the general hospital. I asked him why but he said better ask my mother. But my mother never answer my call. Then i called my elder sister who stay at Johore Bahru. Apparently she doesn't know what had happened to father. After that i started calling my younger sister and luckily she pick up the phone and told me that father having vascular obstruction. I was worried and thinking to take emergency leave fly back to them. My head started thinking all the bad things in that time, because i never thought this will happened on my family. After a while, my mother told me not to do so, father is fine and stable already. Then she passed the phone to my father and talk to me. My nervous straight away disappeared after talking to my dad.

My good friend getting married after few weeks. He invited me to attend his wedding ceremony. Of course i promised and congrats to him. I met a lot of old friends when i reached the ceremony. I feel happy to him can get a beautiful wife who he loves for many years. he don't have much time to spend with me when I'm in Miri. He was too busy to get ready everything, so i also didn't disturbing him. I just hang out with two close friends enjoy beers at a bar. I met my father after the day, he come along with my uncle who was get medical therapy. We having our breakfast at 2020 cafe and met my company Ex-staff. I looked at my father face, he was get older and older with his aging wrinkles. After that, he took me to get some medical cream for my auntie. I gave him some money for his body check up revisit in July. I said to my dad i love you but in deep of my heart. Then they get ready to leave the town and send me back to my friend's house. I leave the town at night also.

I drove to Kl last week to release tension. I bought some Durian to my friends and enjoy it together. I also brought the Chivas that i bought it at the Tioman Island in May. I just drank for a few glass of it. But one of my friend still drinking after i slept. He took a photo when i slept, but i awake with a strange feeling. And he show me the picture he took, it's really disgusting. We went to Kinokuniya book store to find the book i want after all of us waked up. I was very happy manage to get the book 'Yakuza Moon'. I left the last chapter to finish reading the book. It is a nice book to read, it's the memoir of the gangster daughter.